|Just because I posted it doesn't mean I agree with it.........
||[Aug. 24th, 2005|02:43 pm]
I'm sure all you gals will find this highly amusing!|
A womens point of view:
My boyfriend, not happy with my mood swings, bought me a mood ring the other
day so he would be able to monitor my moods. When I'm in a good mood it
turns green. When I'm in a bad mood it leaves a big f*cking red mark on his
forehead. Maybe next time he'll buy me a diamond.
My husband came home with a tube of KY jelly and said, "This will make you
He was right. When he went out of the bedroom, I squirted it all over the
doorknobs. He couldn't get backin.
A couple are lying in bed. The man says, "I am going to make you the
happiest woman in the world."
The woman says, "I'll miss you."
Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
A: A rumour.
He said - Since I first laid eyes on you, I've wanted to make Love to you
She said - Well, you've succeeded.
He said 'Shall we try swapping positions tonight?'.
She said 'That's a good idea... you stand by the ironing board while I sit
On the sofa and fart'.
He said 'What have you been doing with all the grocery money thatI gave you?
She said 'Turn sideways and look in the mirror you fat b*stard'.
Q: What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?
A: 45 minutes.
Q: What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
A: Through his chest with a sharp knife.
Q: Why do men want to marry virgins?
A: They can't stand criticism.
Q: Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive,caring,and
A: Because those men already have boyfriends.
Q: What makes men chase women if they have no intention of marrying?
A: The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of
Q: What do you do if you see a man running around with half a head?
A: Reload and try again!