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Innocent 70's style humour from the BBC ! - Ivana Beadored's Torn and Twisted Dereliction of Beauty [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]

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Innocent 70's style humour from the BBC ! [Nov. 21st, 2005|01:38 pm]
This was originally shown on BBC TV back in the seventies. Ronnie

Barker could say all this without a snigger (though god knows how many

takes). Irony is that they received not one complaint. The speed of

delivery must have been too much for the whining herds. Try getting

through it without converting the spoonerisms [and not giggling] as you read ...


This is the story of Rindercella and her sugly isters.

Rindercella and her sugly isters lived in a marge lansion. Rindercella

worked very hard frubbing sloors, emptying poss pits, and shivelling


At the end of the day, she was knucking fackered.

The sugly isters were right bugly astards. One was called Mary Hinge,

and the other was called Betty Swallocks; they were really forrible

huckers;they had fetty sweet and fetty swannies. The sugly isters had

tickets to go to the ball, but the cotton runts would not let

Rindercella go.

Suddenly there was a bucking fang, and her gairy fodmother appeared.

Her name was Shairy Hithole and she was a light rucking fesbian. She

turned a pumpkin and six mite wice into a hucking cuge farriage with

six dandy ronkeys who had buge hollocks and dig bicks

The gairy fodmother told Rindercella to be back by dimnlight otherwise,

there would be a cucking falamity.

At the ball, Rindercella was dancing with the prandsome hince when

suddenly the clock struck twelve. "Mist all chucking frighty!!!" said

Rindercella, and she ran out tripping barse over ollocks, so dropping

her slass glipper.

The very next day the prandsome hince knocked on Rindercella's door and

the sugly isters let him in. Suddenly, Betty Swallocks lifted her leg

and let off a fig bart. "Who's fust jarted??" asked the prandsome hince.

"Blame that fugly ucker over there!!" said Mary Hinge. When the

stinking brown cloud had lifted, he tried the slass glipper on both the

sugly isters without success and their feet stucking funk.

Betty Swallocks was ducking fisgusted and gave the prandsome hince a

knack in the kickers. This was not difficult as he had bucking fuge

halls and a hig bard on.

He tried the slass glipper on Rindercella and it fitted pucking


Rindercella and the prandsome hince were married. The pransome hince

lived his life in lucking fuxury, and Rindercella lived hers with a

follen swanny.

[User Picture]From: the_quandary
2005-11-22 05:17 am (UTC)
*Snort* Ahaha.
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