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Ivana Beadored's Torn and Twisted Dereliction of Beauty [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]

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Cross dressed and cross posted like....... [Oct. 21st, 2005|12:34 pm]
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Dont look at me like that......ya 'lil bitch!!! [Sep. 28th, 2005|07:01 pm]
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Well just look at you lot........I knew I always had *bad* taste ! [Aug. 30th, 2005|11:08 am]


The LJ friendsCollage.
Original by teemus. Modifications by whitez.
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Just because I posted it doesn't mean I agree with it......... [Aug. 24th, 2005|02:43 pm]
I'm sure all you gals will find this highly amusing!

A womens point of view:

My boyfriend, not happy with my mood swings, bought me a mood ring the other
day so he would be able to monitor my moods. When I'm in a good mood it
turns green. When I'm in a bad mood it leaves a big f*cking red mark on his
forehead. Maybe next time he'll buy me a diamond.

My husband came home with a tube of KY jelly and said, "This will make you
happy tonight."

He was right. When he went out of the bedroom, I squirted it all over the
doorknobs. He couldn't get backin.

A couple are lying in bed. The man says, "I am going to make you the
happiest woman in the world."

The woman says, "I'll miss you."

Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
A: A rumour.

He said - Since I first laid eyes on you, I've wanted to make Love to you
really badly.

She said - Well, you've succeeded.

He said 'Shall we try swapping positions tonight?'.

She said 'That's a good idea... you stand by the ironing board while I sit
On the sofa and fart'.

He said 'What have you been doing with all the grocery money thatI gave you?

She said 'Turn sideways and look in the mirror you fat b*stard'.

Q: What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?
A: 45 minutes.

Q: What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
A: Through his chest with a sharp knife.

Q: Why do men want to marry virgins?
A: They can't stand criticism.

Q: Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive,caring,and
good looking?
A: Because those men already have boyfriends.

Q: What makes men chase women if they have no intention of marrying?
A: The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of

Q: What do you do if you see a man running around with half a head?
A: Reload and try again!
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More photo archive...ness [Aug. 23rd, 2005|12:10 pm]
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I'm beginning to wonder if I'll ever be able to pull it off again........

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Just give me La la la la la la Ooh La la la la........... [Aug. 22nd, 2005|12:18 pm]
[music |Goldfrappe]

Your French Name Is

Adèle Basque

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(no subject) [Jun. 13th, 2005|01:55 pm]
This photo (blown up to about 5ft tall) featured recently in an exibition in London. It seemed to get a good reaction so I thought I'd share it with you.

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(no subject) [May. 14th, 2005|04:32 pm]
found this old pick-churrr....I can do glam with chest hair grrrrrrrrrrrrr

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(no subject) [Apr. 25th, 2005|11:57 am]
Gurls low rise hipster jeans are now where its at for this trash queen.....

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The ultimate blonde joke to end all blonde jokes [Mar. 24th, 2005|10:09 am]
A blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little red sports car and
was pulled over by a woman police officer who was also a blonde.
The blonde cop asked to see the blonde driver's license. She dug through
her purse and was getting progressively more agitated.
"What does it look like?" she finally asked.
The policewoman replied, "It's square and it has your picture on it."
The driver finally found a square mirror, looked at it and handed it to
the policewoman.
"Here it is," she said.
The blonde officer looked at the mirror, then handed it back saying,
"Okay, you can go. I didn't realize you were a cop."
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